i did have some time for daydreaming
while driving up to my mom’s last week.
and i found myself thinking about my
grandparents–their rather tragic lives and
how very little i know about them.
my mom had just returned from a trip
to taiwan, and brought an old foto album
for me. so old that the front cover had torn
off. the first page contained two fotos : my
grandparents on their wedding day, and
the above picture.
i’m guessing it was taken in china,
before the entire family fled from the
communists to taiwan. before there
even was a family. they both look so
young and so beautiful.
with our elders, parents, grandparents…
we tend to forget that they too were young
once, with dreams and passions.
it’s almost as if they were strangers,
if you think about them with a past all
their own. before you even existed.
my grandfather is nearly unrecognizable
to me in this foto. not only because
he looks so dashing and young–but because
he is smiling so happily. i’ve always known
him as a reserved, stern and serious man.
not a young one in love.
but that foto was taken before he lost
his country, his wife, his only son…
this is more of the grandfather i knew.
still handsome, but not given to easy
laughter or smiles. he was a
virgo by western astrology, and an oxen
by the chinese one–exactly like me.
i was born when he was sixty years old.
my mom said he refused to be anywhere
close to the delivery room. the chinese
believe that some people are born with
“hard” lives, so cutting that it can even harm
those you love. given the tragedies that
my grandfather had lived through, he didn’t
want to bring any of that near his
newborn granddaughter.
that’s my mom in the foto.
i’ve always thought of her as very
elegant and beautiful. it surprises me
when people say i look like her. (as some
of you have said.) i simply don’t see it.
so yes, i do hope to one day write a novel
based on my grandparent’s lives. their story.
there were letters written and journal entries.
but it’s not anything i can tackle very soon.
i’m simply not ready.
i’m very much looking forward to the challenge
of my sequel next–and my picture book.
pandas are my latest muse.
zai jian (goodbye!) for now!
edited to add : you can click on the foto
to get a much larger image. i love the
pose in that first. they don’t have their
arms around each other, they aren’t holding
hands. but can’t you tell that they are in
love, the way she’s a step behind him,
with her shoulder pressed close to his?
and their smiles say it all…
29 Comments
i think u look a lot like your grandfather in the first picture!
What a nice looking couple. Your grandmother was so beautiful!
I think you look a lot like your grandfather, too. Especially the eyes. But I can see the resemblance with your mother easily as well.
I can definitely see you writing that book sometime in the future, after you’ve already written 5 or 6 novels and the bubs are teenagers.
I agree you look like your mom. I think what you wrote about our thinking on our grandparents is beautiful, Cindy.
I found old pictures of my own grandparents this week. I love the ones of them snuggling casually. But the best ones have my father in them, pouting and enormous and looking exactly like Captain Destructo!
I really liked this post. I only see you and your mom’s mouth being similar. Maybe it’s the pleasant demeanor you share. My mom and bro are oxen. Are you loyal and persistent, too? I think so. I’ve only ever known my maternal grandparents through photos like these, through my mom’s accounts, and I always wonder about their struggles and joys, too.
That’s beautiful, Cindy. Got me all teary. When I look at young pictures of my grandmother I always wish I could have know her when she was strong and healthy. She fought cancer for twenty-two years and died at just 52.
That first picture is just so beautiful. It captures their happiness.
you do look like your mom–i saw it right away when i looked at the picture, before i read that other people had agreed.
you need to use your grandparents’ story. it’s really extraordinary. truth is so often more powerful than anything we can invent.
OMG: I was thinking about old photos and maybe posting some on my blog. And I hopped over here. Weird.
What a sad story about your grandfather. They were such a beautiful couple – full of love and laughter.
On a brighter note: I’m a Virgo/Oxen.
They’re beautiful! I love looking at my grandparents wedding album. She was gorgeous and my granddad looked so dapper and the way they looked at each other… *sniff*
I can definitely see the sadness in your grandfather’s eyes in the second pic. Heartbreaking. :-(
They look really happy there. I came across a similar picture of my parents when they were young and had their first house. They looked so proud.
angelle, i never would have said i looked like my grandfather–but i had never seen a smiling foto of him. and now that i have, yes, i can see me looking like him.
david, i honestly think my grandmother is gorgeous. she died when she was 36. =( and i love how you’ve got my whole writing career planned out for me! i’m quaking in my shoes thinking about just writing a second novel. haha! honestly, i think i’d need 8 – 10 years at least before i can write this one.
jacqui, i’m glad you liked the entry. it has been on my mind ever since my mom gave me the album last week. and it’s it so strange and wonderful when we see our bubs in our parents or grandparents?
amy, i guess i am loyal and persistent. haha! and i’m glad you can relate to the entry. i’m not surprised!
natalie, yes that’s so young. i wish i knew my grandmother…and my grandfather better. he carried so many of his stories and feelings within himself. deep.
moonie, it’s always a compliment when someone says i look like my mom! i think i’m a combo of my mom and dad. my eyes are like my dad’s…round and buggy. ha! and you’re so right about the potency if truth and life in storytelling. i truly hope to, one day…
kim, i had no idea you were an oxen, too! we truly are astrological twins!!
rachel, thank you. i love that foto. i’m so glad my mom gave me the album so i found it!
jen, i know. i never understood it until i grew older–not truly until after he passed. i was just too young to comprehend the sadness he’d suffered in life.
jon, don’t you love old fotos? they tell a story, definitely.
Beautiful photos.
You do resemble your mum. And what a wonderful hairstyle she had. I love it!
It’s so nice to hear stories about your grandparents and even better if you have pictures to go along with them. I think writing about your grandparents would be an interesting thing to tackle when the time is right. I would definitely be interested in reading that. Do you have more photos? I wish I had more photos of my grandparents.
What a beautiful family you have. I hope you have the chance to write your grandparents story someday. I imagine that might be difficult to relive the tragedies of your families past, but also would be a testament to your grandfather’s strength as well. Good luck!
Wow. Thanks so much for sharing this, Cindy. Beautiful pictures.
I know what you mean when you mention your grandfather’s smile, when he was younger, in love. So sad, sweet and true all at the same time.
Lovely.
mary, thank you! my mom has naturally wavy hair and my is even curlier. she had a heck of a time through the 60’s, when stick straight was in. =)
lissa, we lose our histories so fast, don’t we? esp when we move countries…and there has been war. it’s hard…and yes, i do have more fotos! will share when i have a chance to scan.
kelly, thank you so much! i do hope i can write it some day.
prince b, i’m so glad you enjoyed the post.
Your grandparents’ story certainly does sound interesting. And for what it’s worth, you have your mom’s eyes and your grandfather’s smile. Great pics.
thanks for visiting and commenting, dell! i, too, can see my smile in my grandfather’s.
I love that first picture. You’re right, they do look so happy and so in love and he seems so proud. Your Grandma was so cute. I don’t know if that’s the right term to use for a grown woman, but she was so adorable. And he was quite dashing. I would LOVE to read the story you will write one day about their lives. We all need to tell the stories from our ancestors. It is almost our duty in a way… Since we are writers, it’s like we have the gift, the voice to tell it with honor and grace.
Cindy, wow — thank you for sharing something so intimate, so close to your heart…your grandparents (in the picture when they were young) already had a fascinating story to tell us…through you, and your writing…heaven knows what heartache they srated to experience after that photo was taken…and, yes, I think you look a lot like your mom — it’s right there, in the eyes…there’s a memoir in here to be told…
Did you ever read Wild Swans? One of my all-time favorite books, by the wonderful Jung Chang (who gave lectures at my university. I was inspired enough by her to want to learn Mandarin…)
Thanks for sharing! You really do look like your mother, at least from the picture in your avatar. I think it’s the eyes and eyebrows. If you look at just the eyes in your avatar and the picture of your mom with your grandfather, maybe you’ll see it too?
Stephanie
sheri, i would love to share their story with honor and grace. and i think my grandmother is about 18 or so in that foto, so “cute” is not very far off. she’s barely out of girlhood yet…
juliette, thank you. i saw wild swans while in london. and wanted to pick it up, but never did. now i’ll have to read it upon your recommendation.
steph, thanks! since i think my mom looks similar to my grandfather in a way, and i can see me in my grandfather, it’d make sense that i can see me in my mother. i know i have her nose, but everything else…not so much as far as features go!
What amazing photos. Your grandparents were both gorgeous people, and those genes have clearly stayed strong in your family. :)
Thanks for sharing them with us.
I love that first photo! What a lovely couple. Your grandfather was so handsome and your grandmother looks like such a cutie in that photo! There is so much personality there. and your Mom is a knockout.
I totally get the idea of bad luck and not wanting to spread it. Asians have lots of superstitions, but I think they all make sense.
thanks, lk and ello!!
ell, yes, definitely superstitions exist!
I also hope you write your grandparents’ story one day. I agree with Moonie–there will be so much there that you simply can’t invent.
The first photo is stunning, to me. They both look so innocent and so happy. I do see the difference in your grandfather’s eyes between the two photos.
chris, thank you. i hope i get to realize this dream as well one day. =) you are so right, it is all in the eyes. i said you can tell they are in love in their smiles, but i was looking in their eyes. their eyes are smiling and in love. =)
Gosh your Grandfather was a dapper-looking man. So sad to read this. I think you certainly have it in you to write a book that does his story justice.
(and yes, I can def see the resemblance to your mom – so there!)
I love these photos. They are beautiful people, and I can see you in all of them.